if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
