1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Me too!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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