If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
