I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize