I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize