dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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