Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
