i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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