What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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