you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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