Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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