I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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