I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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