dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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