Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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