hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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