She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
