mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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