He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
