i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
