My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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