there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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