The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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