Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
