CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
