She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
