These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
