Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
