Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
