bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
