Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
