drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
