I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
