would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Girls should come with a carfax report
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
