In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh god it's open bar.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
