i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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