I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
