i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
