Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
