So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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