i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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