legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
