so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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