Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
