so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
wow bdsm is so cute
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
