Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
