3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
