the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
