who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
