I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We left the knife in your bed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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