32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize