Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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