On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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