I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
