none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
