i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
