Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
